“When he was V.P., Joe was ‘the most senior dissenting voice against a surge in Afghanistan back in 2008 and 2009,’” Stephen Colbert said, quoting from a news report. “This war’s been going on so long, Biden’s been trying to get the troops out since he was just ‘regular’ old. Now he’s ‘Mountain Dew Baja Blast Extreme’ old.”
“The war in Afghanistan may finally be over, and people, it’s about time. It’s been what, 19 years? No war should ever be old enough to serve in itself.” — TREVOR NOAH
“It’s been going on so long, the first ‘Iron Man’ movie opens with Tony Stark in Afghanistan. This conflict’s older than the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It’s an ‘Infinity War’ with no ‘Endgame.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Samantha Bee opened Wednesday’s “Full Frontal” by tracking anti-Asian racism throughout American history.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Anderson Cooper will appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” where he is likely to discuss his upcoming gig as guest host of “Jeopardy!”